THE SILLY WOMAN

Once upon a time there was a man who was married to a silly woman. One day he told his wife:

Next week the Ramazan begins and we should buy lots of food because it is very long and we’ll need to eat a lot.

His wife heard him till the end, the she said:

Okay then, why don’t you go and buy the food, my dear? Then I’ll take care of them.

 The husband went to the market, bought all the food they needed and sent it to his wife at home. The wife took the food and was staying at the yard’s gate.

She asked everybody who went past the gate:

Are you the tall Ramazan?

But they didn’t listen to her and continued their ways. A little time later, there passed a very tall brave called Ramazan. So the woman stopped him and said:

Are you the tall Ramazan?

Yes, it’s me. – he said.

Take all the food right here, my husband has bought it for you. – the woman said.

So he took it at once and went away. When the husband came at night, he asked her:

Did they give you the food I had sent?

She told him: -Yes, I took and gave them to the tall Ramazan.

Her husband was very surprised and went mad telling her:

What are you talking about, woman?

What? Did you tell me that Ramazan is tall and eats lots of food? So I gave the food to the tall Ramazan. – the wife answered.

The husband did nothing but seized her, then beat her really hard.

The next morning he told to her:

I don’t have the money to buy too much food, but I am going to take two goats.

So, how are we going to eat the meat? - she asked.

Cut the meat into slices as I said you, and put the slices over the cabbages in the garden- he said.

Then he went to the market, bought the meat and sent it home. The woman took the meat, cut it into slices and put them over the cabbages in the garden. She was thinking:

- I am putting the meat to dry in the sun, so I am saving the beating too.

She was done with the meat there in the garden, so she entered inside and continued with the other house works.

When she went outside in the afternoon to look at the meat, she noticed the dogs had eaten all the slices. So, she took the dog of the house, bound him to the pipe’s tape and started beating him very hard.

Because of the beating, the dog was bounding around so much that the tape of the pipe was pulled off and the all the wine poured on the ground.

But she took the wheat and spread it all over the garden so that it wouldn’t turn into mud.

At night, the husband came home and asked her:

- Did they bring the meat I sent?

Then wife told him what had happened:

- Yes, they brought the meat in here, I cut it like you said me to do, put the slices over the cabbages so that they could get dried in the sun, and to save the whole beating thing too. But I couldn’t stay any longer and left the meat outside while I got inside to do the other things. I got outside in the afternoon to check, but the meat was gone, the dogs had eaten it. I took the dog and bound it to the pip’s tape and beat him, but he began to bound around, took off the tape and all the wine poured on the ground. I couldn’t let the garden turn into mud, so I took the wheat and spread it all over the place, only then I could stay calm.

Her husband couldn’t do anything, but he was so het up that he began to punch his head.

Days later, one of the pasha’s camels was lost. The man found it and took it home together with some of his friends.

He was thinking of killing the camel and then eating the meat, but he was afraid that his wife would tell about it.

So he took a big copper and told his wife: - Come here and get in the copper because our god wants to kill us, but I want to rescue you.

Then he turned to his friends and said: - Get ready, when I get her into the copper, you’ll throw pieces into her. While the others will kill the camel and she won’t understand what’s going on.

So they covered the woman with the copper till they were done with the camel. But she saw everything from the copper’s hole when they killed the camel. When they took the camel away they said:

Get out woman, our god forgave us.

The next day the pasha sent his servants to look for the camel at all the houses. They went to the silly woman’s house and asked her:

Have you seen any camel around here?

She answered: - Yes, I’ve seen it when my husband killed it.

The men went to give the news to the pasha and he called for the silly woman’s husband.

He asked the man:

- Have you killed my camel?

He said: I don’t know anything pasha, I’ve not even seen a camel around here.

But your wife told us you killed it. – pasha said.

- I don’t know anything at all. – the man said again.

Then pasha imprisoned him and called for his wife.

The woman entered the room and noticed that pasha had a blind eye.

Pasha asked here:

- Is it true that your husband killed my camel?

- Yes. – answered the woman.

- When did he kill it? – he asked again.

Then she said:

- He killed that when our god threw rocks from the sky and blinded your eye. Pasha got very mad, called his servants and told them: I didn’t order you to bring me silly people here so that they laugh at me. Then pasha discharged her husband, but imprisoned the servants.

So, after all the imbecilities she had done, this time the silly woman could do something good for her husband. This time her silliness saved his life.